I'm going to warn you. Before reading this, you'll want to grab a tissue and maybe a sweater too. A tissue because you're probably going to shed some tears, and a sweater to warm you up after you get goosebumps!
As you all know, I chose to be a non-directed donor, which means I'm donating my kidney to a complete stranger. Going into this, I completely understood and accepted the fact that I wouldn't know anything about the person receiving my kidney. I also knew there was a possibility I would never, ever know anything about them unless we both decided we wanted to exchange information in the future. If that were to happen, the soonest it would happen would be several months after the surgery. Honestly, I was dying to find out who I was donating to, but I was also ok with not knowing. I told myself that maybe it was better to not know. Anything could happen, and if something were to happen and I could no longer donate, or if anything happened during or after the surgery, it might be best for me to not know who the person was. I think because I didn't know who they were, I was not quite as emotionally attached to this situation as I thought I would be. Don't get me wrong, my heart was still telling me to do this. I just felt a little less emotional about it.
I've mentioned before that I joined a group on Facebook for kidney donors and recipients. Maybe a month or so ago, the thought crossed my mind that maybe my recipient or other members of the donor chain I'm starting could be in this same group. There are around 11,000 members in the group, so of course I figured the chances of finding them in the group were pretty slim. Plus, there are so many posts from this group each day that it's hard to keep up with every single one to even try to keep an eye out for any clues that someone could be part of my chain. I rarely go to the page to see all the posts. I usually only see the random ones that show up as I'm scrolling through my newsfeed. Needless to say, I never really thought much about it again.
On the day I found out a definite date for my surgery, I posted to the Facebook group, but gave very little details other than the date and a link to my blog. That night, I was talking on the phone with my dad and he asked me if I knew the name of the person I was donating to because he wanted to put their name on the prayer list at church. I had to remind him that I don't know their name, and probably never will, so he said he would just put "end recipient" instead. This caused me to think about whether or not they were in the Facebook group, but I hadn't noticed any comments on my post from anyone who might be having surgery that same day.
The next day, I had just gotten back to my desk at work after lunch, and I got a text message from Kristi. If you don't remember, Kristi is the wife of Raleigh Callaway, the man in GA who I had originally been interested in donating to. Kristi and I have become friends and have stayed in touch since then, and she also happens to be a member of the kidney donors and recipients Facebook group. She sent me a screenshot of a post to the group and asked if this could be my chain.
In case you can't read what it says, its a post from a woman saying that her and her husband are part of a kidney chain at Mayo Clinic on March 25th, and that there are 4 pairs involved! I read through the comments, and saw that it going to be at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. I think my heart stopped when I looked at that picture. I immediately jumped out of my chair and ran over to a coworkers desk and showed her the text. All I kept saying was "This is my chain, it has to be!!" I couldn't believe it! I must have had a look of pure shock on my face, because my coworker made a comment that she could tell how much I was freaking out just by looking at me. I kept rereading the post, over and over again, and all of a sudden it dawned on me that this woman's husband could be my recipient! I was in complete shock. I got on Facebook, found the post, and sent a message to the lady. I think I said something like, "This is going to sound crazy, but I think I might be the donor who is kicking off the chain you're in, and actually I think I might be your husband's donor!" She wrote back right away, and we shared some information back and forth, and she said all they knew about her husband's donor was that it was someone in FL! As far as I know, I'm the only person in the chain that is from FL, so we are pretty sure I'm his donor. What are the odds of this happening? Shortly after, I connected with the woman and her husband on Facebook, and I'm sure we've all been stalking each other there ever since! :) Do you guys have goosebumps yet?
I am so happy to say that I'm donating my kidney to a man named Todd. Unfortunately, Todd is already married so my dreams of donating my kidney and falling in love and getting married to the guy have been ruined. By the way, I'm totally kidding, that wasn't my dream. I'm sure everyone has seen the article that recently was going around where that actually happened. I must have had at least 10 people send it to me, haha! Todd and Jennifer got married last summer, and between the two of them, they have 5 children. They live in IL, and he is 47. Todd started having issues in his 30s, but doctors couldn't determine anything was definitely wrong. 10 years later, he ended up in the hospital, and his kidneys were only functioning at 24%. Currently, his kidney function is at 17%, and he has been diagnosed with Alports syndrome. Luckily, he has not had to go on dialysis yet, and hopefully he will not have to before his transplant. He was put on the Mayo's transplant list last September, which is the same month I started my testing. We have been messaging back and forth quite a bit, and we did a Skype call a few days ago so that we could officially "meet" face to face. I think we were both a bit nervous in the beginning, but that went away quickly, at least for me. It was also pretty emotional. What do you say to someone who is thanking you for giving them this amazing gift? I know it's hard for him to even try to put that into words. Todd, if you're reading this, all I can say is that I'm so grateful that I can do this for you and your family.
Todd and his wife seem like really great people, and it sounds like we have gone through a lot of similar experiences with our families. Jennifer will be donating to a stranger (which is amazing!) who will be having their surgery at the Mayo in Rochester on that same day, so we are hoping to find out more information about them and hopefully others in our chain. The more we talk, I have a feeling that she might be donating to the person I was not a match for a few weeks ago.
This whole thing has been so surreal, I still have a hard time believing how it all happened. There are so many little things that have happened that make me truly believe this was meant to be. It's also makes me realize how small the world can really be. Kristi posted some information to the Facebook group a few days after Todd & I connected, and she included a little bit of my story. Todd happened to see it, and he sent me a message asking if I saw the article posted about me from the "Callaway's Angels lady." I explained how I knew Kristi, and that she was the one who saw his wife's post and shared it with me, and that's how he and I connected. Then he told me that they had been following the Callaway's page and were going to reach out to them for help with finding a living donor, but then things worked out with the paired exchange program so they went that route instead. How cool that we were all sort of connected through the Callaway family. Also, if Kristi wouldn't have seen Jennifer's post that day, Todd and I may have never connected. I was talking with Kristi about this, and she said that like me, she hardly ever goes to the kidney donor & recipient page, but just sees what's in her newsfeed. That day, in that moment (which happened to be only 10 minutes after Jennifer posted) she said something told her to go to the actual page, and that's when she saw the post and sent me the text. How crazy, and proof that this was all meant to be. Do you have goosebumps now? :)
This last week and a half has been so overwhelming, but I must admit that whenever I stop and think about it (which is almost all of the time) I get a huge smile on my face! Knowing who I am donating to, and having them be willing to have a relationship is so amazing. It has definitely changed my feelings and emotions, but in a good way! I can't wait to continue to get to know Todd and his family, and I'm looking forward to having them be a part of my family.
One last weird thing that happened. I have recently discovered Podcasts, which are awesome and I can't believe it took me so long to discover them, and I've been listening to one called Strangers. Each episode is a different story, and the show focuses on human interaction, and how strangers become "strangers no more." I have been thinking for the last few weeks that I should contact the show and share my story, because it fits perfectly with the focus of the show. I mentioned this to Todd and Jennifer on our Skype call the other night, because we had been joking that we're going to quit our jobs and travel around to be on every single talk or news show to share our story and promote awareness. It just so happened that the very next morning, I was listening to an episode of Strangers that had originally aired almost a year ago, and guess what the topic was? Kidney donation! Specifically, donating to a stranger! The host said that she had always thought the idea of donating an organ to a stranger was absolutely crazy, but she was starting to think it wasn't. She had posted a question to their Facebook page asking if anyone had donated to a stranger or thought about it, and she said she had recieved zero comments. Now, this was almost a year ago, so maybe she did get some feedback eventually, but if that's not a sign that I should reach out to the show and share my story, I don't know what is!
