I was a little anxious for the psychiatric evaluation, because I wasn't really sure what to expect. I had talked to my dad the night before, and he was telling me about a woman at his church who recieved a kidney transplant not too long ago. He was telling her about me, and that I was about to have the psych evaluation, and she told him to tell me to be prepared for the doctor to really grill me on why I wanted to do this. She was basing this on feedback she recieved from some of the people that were tested as donors for her. After hearing that, I was even more anxious! I know my heart is in the right place, but maybe they wouldn't think I had a good enough reason to want to do this. Most donors want to donate because they have a loved one who is going through or has gone through some sort of kidney disease. That's not the case with me. At almost every appointment, I've been asked who I'm donating to. When I tell them I'm an altruistic donor with no directed recipient, I've gotten the same reaction from every single one. Shock. Disbelief. Looking at me like I'm sort of crazy, haha! It's very obvious that they don't have non-directed donors very often. I was just hoping I would be able to show to the psychiatrist that this is something I really want to do.
The appointment went nothing like I thought it would. First, I had to fill out a packet if paperwork. It was a lot of questions about my mental health history, family mental health history, my thoughts, etc. After that, I met with a nurse who went through the packet with me and asked the questions again. It was pretty simple since I answered no to pretty much every question. Afterwards she gave me what she called a neurological test. She would say certain words, and I would have to repeat them in the same order, remember them later and repeat them, repeat back numbers, phrases, etc. There were pictures for me to identify, shapes to draw, and I had to do some basic math. I got everything correct and scored the maximum score. She asked me to share the story of how I decided to become a donor, if I understood the risks involved, and if I've thought about what would happen if a donate a kidney and down the road I have a child or family member who needs one. My reply was that I am not guaranteed to be a match for them just because they are family, and I would hope that good karma would come my way because I had donated in the past. After she was done with her questions, she took me back to meet with Dr. Vasquez, the psychiatrist. I honestly don't think I was in her office more than 3 minutes. She introduced herself, told me it seems I don't have any past, present or family issues with mental health, asked if I had any questions, and that was that! Piece of cake. :)
Next was my appointment with a living donor advocate. Her job is to make sure my best interests are taken into consideration throughout all stages of this process. She was very helpful and was able to answer a lot of questions I had about how everything happens. We talked about the possibility of meeting my recipient and how that all works. Asucally, if we both agree to meet each other, it can be arranged, but not until long after the surgery. She said about 6 months after the surgery, the recipient is encouraged to send a thank you note or letter to the donor, if that's something they want to do. It's sent through UNOS (United Network for Organ Sharing) and they screen it to make sure it doesn't contain any personal information such as an address or phone number. If we would like to meet, UNOS will evaluate the situation and decide if it's ok. She said it's done this way for many reasons, all if which are to protect both the recipient and donor. She said many recipients go I to a state of depression after the surgery, especially if there are any complications. They might feel guilty for taking someone's organ. The same can happen for the donor. It's possible to feel depressed and "mourn" the loss of your kidney and you might have feelings of anger or resentment towards the recipient. She also said some people can be clingy and think they have found a new best friend and never leave you alone. These are all things I never would have thought of, but they make sense. I would hope I wouldn't have any of these feelings, but I guess you never know how you're going to feel until you are actually in the situation.
The last thing I still had questions about were advanced directives. It's not something anyone wants to think about, but this is major surgery and I think it would be smart to have them in place. The living donor advocate also happens to counsel people on advanced directives, so she offered to extend her meeting with me to go over it. She was very, very helpful. I don't know about you, but I've never ever thought about what I would want to happen to me if I were on life support or in a situation where I was unable to make decisions on my own. She gave me the forms to fill out, and went through each section in detail. She gave me a lot of examples of situations that could happen. It's a lot to think about it when you're only 33, but I know it's something important to have.
I can't believe tomorrow is my last day of testing! It's only been about 2 months since I made the decision to become a living kidney donor, but it feels like it's been so much longer! I remember when I was told it would be 4 weeks before I could start my testing. Those 4 weeks felt like forever, but now that I'm almost finished it seems like it all happened so fast. I'm looking forward what tomorrow has in store!
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